Narc Parenting~Living the Lie

Narc parenting is quite unique, as they do not believe in showing any type of love or affection. They rule with an iron hand -an authoritative dictatorship style and demand respect and acceptance. The narcissistic parent is very boastful of their family and children yet spends very little time with them. My narc personally never spent time with our children, never was present at their birth of all 3, not one school function, not one doctor appt. not one extracurricular event,  not one parent teacher conference, not one milestone, not one celebration (unless begging was your idea of attendance) and of course no playtime, reading time, quality time. Refusal to provide tution, child support, medical , or housing was the norm. The kids used to cry on our steps waiting for him to take them somewhere, only to be left with empty promises and broken dreams. His motto is let them fall they will learn not to do it again, or simply providing the basics is his way of showing love, no affection, no emotion, no attachment involved. Time is money, and often the children are treated as mere objects, extensions of themselves, a matter of convenience. They only will spend time with their child if they receive some reward such as attention & admiration from others in their harem (group of loyal followers/enablers) or if they wish to portray the image of being a hands on parent yet they abandon the child in front of a tv, or walk away from them the minute they are in the same room. A narcissistic parent is very critical and resentful of the child and will leave the child feeling that their feelings/emotions don’t matter, and they are their to supply and service the narc, living up to their every expectations and demands. Unfortunately, this behavior may have been cause from childhood and or trauma, that has extended into adulthood raising their own as they were raised. Most victims feel torn from relinquishing the rights of the other parent or taking them away from this type of parent, however, it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one daily. Children need unconditional love, attention, affection, and support from a grown adult and unfortunately a narcissist not only can’t provide this, they often have difficult in just being an adult and taking on the responsibilities of raising a family because their central focus is on them not others, and because they often act like a child throwing tempter tantrums when things don’t go their way. Please think twice if staying with a narc parent as you are often doing more harm than good and the children often suffer in the end.