“You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
For Narcissist they don’t give anything of themselves. For most they think of giving not in what they can provide but what they can give from their heart and soul. It has meaning, it has purpose, it stands for something more important long after they are gone.
Narcissists don’t view their own children as their legacy. Rather they view their family members, spouses , siblings, or partners as extensions. These individuals have a purpose and are simply used to provide a benefit for the narcissist. They may be co-dependents or enablers who believe they are helping the narcissist when in reality they are providing a supply and a source to further the hidden agenda of the narcissist.
Narcissists are incapable of love in the sense of normal love. They internalize and suppress emotions. They may be introverts who like to keep to themselves and loners by trade. They may have had a troubled childhood and may never have been shown what true love entails. For some narcissist they use their wealth, power, control to pretend to show love by simply being present even though they are emotionally distant and detached. They may make grand purchases trying to seek attention by buying love from others through expensive gifts to win them over.
Narcissist are terrible providers and protectors. They do not know how to be there for anyone other than themselves. This sense of selfishness and grandiose ego mentality is very disheartening.
From an early age many of us may have been taught to treat others how we would like to be treated. However, narcissist don’t care about others feelings, they can’t relate to them, and they would rather go it alone than have to be alert and attentive. They view relationships as a means to an end, they simply aren’t interested in being involved in the same sense others are and they don’t wish to share their lives fully with anyone.
“There is no give and take , no till death do we part, no in sickness and in health. What does exists with a narcissist is only give me what you can till your exhausted, let me take as much as I need, do as I say, and don’t voice your opinion or question my motives and we will be just fine.”
Narcissists will make excuses to get out of responsibilities and commitments. They will always appear busy, will never have time, will make others wait for them and cater to them, and will put their Primary Sources on the back burner to be used as needed when appropriate.
For most people the thought of living any other way than with dignity, respect, class, and selflessness is important. The thought of the way in which we conduct ourselves with compassion, love , understanding and faith is important. We want to live a fulfilled life with importance in knowing we made a difference and have given back to our community or helped others in anyway possible including helping our own and those who matter most to us. However, for narcissist the thought of leaving anything behind for anyone else is not an option. They discard and devalue at the moment you learn the truth about them. Whatever they accumulate in life belongs solely to them and sharing is not part of the equation because the equation involves only one.
They do not give of themselves, they will only take!
xoxo #lifeafternarcissism #nevergiveup #recovery