When No Contact Can’t Work

What can I do when no contact isn’t an option? If you must continue contact with the narcissist in your life due to having children in common or even if it is a family member in question, you can still have “limited contact” and still follow a strict discipline regarding that person. The fact is most narcissists will continue to try and extract energy from those closest to them if that energy outlet is still open. The very best method for stopping the narcissist in his tracks is to refuse to give him or her your energy. Period! So instead of having a strict “no contact” rule you can implement a strict “no energy” discipline that involves not buying into the drama created by the narcissist to suck you into his or her web. the narcissist knows he or she is getting a reaction out of you then that person gets a charge out of that reaction. The “charge” I speak of is energy. Therefore when you react you are giving the narcissist your energy. So it is time to practice the art of “non reaction.You have every right to set your boundaries and this is an absolute “must” when dealing with a narcissist. If you are dealing with child visitation and exchanging the children back and forth then you must specify what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate and then be willing to follow through. Since narcissists will argue their point until blue in the face, it is important not to engage in the argument. If the narcissist raises his or her voice, yells, screams or acts inappropriately then you don’t have to tolerate this. You can give the clear message that you won’t tolerate hostile tones and either hang up the phone or close the door. Never open the door to your home if the narcissist arrives unexpected or uninvited. And it is best not to invite him or her in when exchanging the children. You have to give the message that this is about the children only. Your personal relationship is over and will not be discussed. Anything having to do with your character or even your parenting skills is not open for discussion. You will need to make it clear, preferably in writing, what is open for discussion

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