I know from personal experience you will only exhaust yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically if you try to change a narc. Their is no changing someone who has made it their life’s work. Regardless of the gender of your narc, your narc probably has experienced some form of trauma early on that has caused them to become who they are today. I know many men and women that have stayed and wasted years trying to “prove” their love, trying to “please” the narc, trying to be “sympathetic” to their every need only to be discarded in the end without explanation nor reason simply because you could no longer deal with the abuse, or because you found out the two sided mask has fallen and revealed the true self of the narc, or because the narc has moved on to the next supply/target. Please don’t lower your standards for anyone certainly not a narc.