Recovery and rebuilding from abuse is like trying to put the pieces to your personal puzzle back together again. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I’ve been asked how to begin recovery and what should one focus upon to begin to heal. Here is a list which I found extremely helpful, keep in mind each of us is different so you can tweak this to suit your own personal needs and goals. Often listing long term goals is a great start to recovery. This helps you focus on what you have to still achieve, and as you achieve these goals it will help you become more of a “thriver” and not merely a “survivor”.  Secondly, focus on creating daily goals, anything from the simple to the more goal oriented such as relocating after the abuser, finding a job, or as simple as getting up and doing the housework, or yardwork. Keep a positive list in order to realize the traits that you possess that your narc tried to take away. These traits are still inside of you, so find them, and allow them to come back to the surface. You are worth it. Lastly learn about narcissism, the internal and external scars/wounds, and never just “blanket” them with shame, but rather discuss them, journal them, bring them to the forefront through discussion with like minded individuals. You are well on your way to recovery, so keep going one day at a time at your own personal pace, and take as much or as lil time as you need. ~♥~

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