Narcissists lead very secretive lifestyles. Even if married, they will act more like their single, never discussing partners/spouses/children when around others unless they are seeking sympathy by playing the victim role; always keeping options open. You will always find out something new and different about your narc the longer you’re involved, nothing adds up, and you find yourself becoming a detective in piecing the truths back together. I remember when I first met my narc and the grandiose stories he told, of his extravagant lifestyle only to learn their was no extravagant life, finances, medical or family history that was kept hidden was done so for a reason as I later learned, and the shy/quiet/loner I married was a true Jekyll and Hyde. It took me nearly 7 yrs to learn the truth, and when I did, he immediately discarded and devalued. I’m at peace knowing the documents I obtained against my narc hold the key to the truth. The one thing to note is you can be sure what you learn about your narc is just the tip of the iceberg, so make sure you document everything and keep them in a safe place for future reference.